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Entries for June, 2006

June 5th, 2006

Tumatanda na pala ako. Letsugas.

Wah. letsugas na buhay ititch. Walang magawa. Well, all the kiddos have their classes na, siyempre execept sa'ming mga oldies na next week pa.

Mukhang mauubusan pa ata ako ng ink sa printer ko. Harrr. Wag sana, wag sana. Di ko pa tapos iprint ang mga tabs ko. Hay, nasusuka na ko dito sa bahay. Tapos letsugas, magdi-disisyete na ko sa June 13. Antanda ko na!

Hai joskoh, namimiss ko na si Airatoinks.

Bruha, naglulumandi na ang mga bata ng panahon ngayon, juskoh, nung kapanahunan naming elem eh, hindi kami pakikay-kikay, tambay kami lagi ng library o kaya naman eh nasa may tapat ng accounting office or worst, sa room lang at nagpapaka-studious. Aba'y wala pang friendster nun. Blogperson pa lang ako. Ahsus, tingnan mo naman mga profile nila ngayon, may nalalaman laman pa silang "EMO ako" kahit na ang pinakikinggan nilang music ay kay Lindsay or kanta ng CUESHE na nakakamatay. Hay bruha. Na-aagitate ako.

Hay nakoh, pag tumatanda ka nga naman, kung anu-ano nang napapansin mo sa kabataan.

Posted by TheWickedBride at 01:41 PM | 2 kissed me!

June 8th, 2006

i am so depressed.

TheWickedBride

This PHOTO in the mail is the “Pulitzer prize” winning photo taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine. The picture depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards an United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.

The vulture is waiting for the child to die so that it can eat it. This picture shocked the whole world. No one knows what happened to the child, including the photographer Kevin Carter who left the place as soon as the photograph was taken.

Three months later he committed suicide due to depression.

Posted by TheWickedBride at 07:40 PM | Kiss me?

June 9th, 2006

Pre-birthday randomness.

TheWickedBride

Now I know exactly how Harry felt during the times he was being deprived of any form of distinct communication with the wizarding kind. I was reading the first few chapters of book 5(for the nth time) and based on Harry’s case? It’s synonymous to mine at the moment; He’s exactly my alter ego. It’s really hard being away from the things that make you feel ordinary or better saying, make you a part of the norm, Being locked up in the house for a week’s really awful, but for months? Then, that’s saying something. I do not necessarily mean that the folks are locking me up so as to plagiarize my vacation, (If you’d call it a vacation) Well, it’s just that mum and I had a row over something (that I’m not going to mention here) that seemed to have sucked out all the happiness I should’ve be basking in till the end of my pre-college vacation days. Now, now, now with the eyebrows, we’re also the typical, normal family who get to be off their rocker at times. Rows are regular, but not the monstrous types.

Even though I’m free to go out, seems like I just don’t have the energy or (Okay, you could also blame the cash, I’m saving up for the school days for the practically more important matters that might pop out really soon) even the liking to get out of my room. I’ve already read almost all the books in here, even my old Sesame street word dictionary that suggests it’s for ages 3 to 8, my uncle’s old letters to my aunt (now don’t ask me where I got those), my moldy teenage pocketbooks which I remember reading nonstop when I was in the 4^th grade(It’s not the romance-lovey-dovey sort of books) and a whole lot of reader’s digest from the late 80’s. Oh sweet Jesus, I am plagued by boredom.

By the next four days, I will be turning seventeen and it’s not actually a big deal. Well, I could not deny the fact that for the past 17 years, God was totally forgiving. And if he’d allow me to live on till this Tuesday, ah, I’m more than grateful. I’m not the kind of person who thinks in an it’s-my-birthday-so-I’m-today’s-Queen-Bee manner. My overly conservative parents raised me in a strict manner for nothing. I did not experience any birthday bashes when I was young and did not grow up being bathed and bribed with material things just for me to do this or that. I grew up with the principle of having to work hard for success and not to achieve material things in exchange. Our parents never bribed us with material things. During my elementary graduation nga, my teachers and classmates kept on asking me, “O, anong graduation gift ang I-prinomise ng parents mo sayo ngayong valedictorian ka?” I simply answer “wala po.” And they’d start making a fuss that it’s impossible and very dull, that after all the hardships I’ve done, they won’t amount it to any material thing. I would just reason out that we’re not raised in that sort of manner and that we’ve other ways of expressing our gratitude and love for one another.

   In a way, maybe other families could afford that all the time, simply because they’re wealthy they have their own traditions in their family, which I do respect. Ours’ is neither the poor nor the well-to-do sort of family, but it’s just the way we are. Same with birthdays, since it’s just the four of us, (consider it lucky if we’re complete) we’d just spend it in a restaurant, just hanging out with one another or just shop. That’s practically it. Of course, greetings are always welcomed. But usually, the celebration is confined within the four of us. I don’t know, but that’s just the way it is. One good reason might be because of the birth dates, since each falls on non-vacation days so we don’t get enough time to prepare or even mind preparing for invites. But no, don’t get me wrong; we’re not the introvert-sorts of people.
     I’m not sure if this has something to do with cultural heritages or just a mixture of this and that. To start off, my mother is part-Chinese, and she seems to have a knowledge in loads of spiritual ek-ek and celebrating religious dates on the calendar that I’m not sometimes aware of. But the celebrations usually comprises of feng-shuic aspects that intrigues me all the time. My dad’s more of the Westernized-part of that family heritage I’m talking about, but referring to my parents’ families, well, one could die. My mother’s angkan is the sort of guys who when you say “simpleng handaan” will apparently mean “piyesta” and it’s like the whole town’s on rampage for celebration. And mind you, it goes on for weeks, kung minsan, months pa. With my father, well, less yung amount ng invited and just within the family lang unlike my mother’s na kahit ata tindera sa kanto eh invited.
   All of a sudden, their own family is like this. Us. Opposites no? Maybe my folks decided that for a change, they’d consider celebrating occasions on a more compact sort of manner, which for me, is a great deal better.
    But with my upcoming birthday, compact overdid it. I’m celebrating it alone. But on the contrary, I could argue with that, I’m meeting my new block mates, or should I say, soon-to-be colleagues for the first time, probably even celebrate it with newfound friends. Yup, colleagues, our college does not accept shiftees and transferees, so basically, we’ll be seeing the very same faces during the entire course of our stay in university and eventually as we work as nurses.

Hay, just two more lethargic days and I’m going back to UP, good thing, ‘cause it stinks being in here. I’m all frenzied, looking forward to the first day of school. Among the 12,000(more or less) freshmen who got tagged to be ISKO and ISKAs, (Calling all ye!), I’m wondering if they’re all as anxious as I am. Who among us will become the future laudes, the prodigals, the shiftees or transferees, drop-outs, mapapatay, ma-hoholdap, ma-rerape, mahihit and run, lahat na, mga magiging magboyfriend and girlfriend kaya? (by this I also refer to same sex.) Okay, wag sanang mangyari, but chances are, merong uusbong na ganitong kaso, let’s just hope na hindi to mangyari sayo o sa akin. Hindi ko rin alam, if I have the beginnings of becoming a “Nerd” na in the UP standards. I mean nerd in a way na walang social churva, puro aral (kailangan eh) and worst, love life. Kung mababasa lang to ni ate, she’ll say na I’m over reacting. Well, I can’t help it if I feel this way, palibhasa upperclass na siya. (Sa mga interesado, Fine Arts Major in Visual Communications ang aking sister sa Diliman) Most likely, some of us will be faced with a so-called identity crisis sa sobrang diverse ng mga bagay. Minsan nga naiisip ko if I’m really apt for this course. As in, oo nga, pumasa yung UPG ko ng Nursing, pero ako? Do I really belong here?
I do not get it. My former classmates, or I’d rather, my friends would always show a slight hint of disapproval every time I tell them na BS Nursing ang course ko. They’d say, “Gosh, andami ng nag-nunursing.” And then I’d go on telling them na naman the story behind how lucky I am being among the 70 chosen from the 20,000 and 11,000 who vied in for the first and second choice in the entire country. And, dun lang sila medyo mag-aaprove. Ang taas kasi ng expectation nila sa’kin knowing I’m the class valedictorian, gusto nila doctor ako agad, leche. Same with hearsays, which I know, I should not listen to, but I just can’t help being affected by it lalo pa’t it’s my course they’re blabbing about.
What if with the forthcoming years, hindi na daw kami in demand or whatsoever. Ah ewan, si God na ang bahala.

What if kung sa UST kaya ako nag-aral? (I did not write this down in dreams of exchanging schools from UP to UST, I am proud to be called UPCN student) Well, of course, I’d see my old schoolmates there including one of my best pals nung senior high, si Mica who’ll be taking up Tourism (Micamote), si Airatoinks ko na mag Fine Arts and si Edward na magCommerce. And so, I’d be called a Thomasian nurse, lagi akong makikitang palakad lakad sa kalsada ng Espanya at kung tag-ulan eh isa ako sa mga dalagitang basa sa kanyang maputing uniporme na naging kulay kape na dahil sa putik. Malamang eh kasa-kasama ko si Mics and Aira at maggrowl kami (asa) for UST Growling Tigers (tama ba?) Malamang meron na din akong white uniform and black high-heeled shoes to boot sa ngayon.

Pero, I’m rather contented and overwhelmed being in the UP College of Nursing. Kung nagkataon, sino kaya yung mga naging blockmate ko sa UST? Or is Tommy also included as my blockmate? Hah, mere fantasy, ISKO at ISKA na kami dude, Kaso, nag-architecture na siya, well I hope he’s happy there (mukha naman eh) and dumami ang friends niya. Hmp. (Magselos daw ba?) Si Kathurai din, Eventually, magkakaroon na din siya ng new friends, I just hope na hindi sila mapagsamantala or what. Na-jejelly na tuloy ako. Si Allister, Mica, Aira, the entire AltaSociedad, lahat na. (Magselos daw ba ulit?) Ayun pa, isang trait na ayaw ko sa sarili ko, medyo overprotective ako sa friends ko in a way naman na hindi ko sinasabi sa kanila, Pero we all have the right to expose ourselves to other people right? So, siyempre, yun lang yun. I guess ako rin, sooner or later, I’ll be seeing myself na lang surrounded by new faces. I guess we must all go on.

Lovelife? Leche. I am way too paranoid when I get into the verge of falling in love. It’s actually one of the most distinct things I am allergic of. It’s not actually something to fuss about or to get anxious with. The more kasi na pinag-uusapan, lalong nagiging issue of controversy sa mga tao. Gaya ko. When I was in my preteen years, I did not give a damn about falling in love with the opposite sex. The heck do I know about that. Of course may crush na rin naman ako during those time, pero that’s just about it. Ngayong nagkaka-age na ko, saka na lang naging matters of daily conversation yan sa mga naglulumanding teenagers ng edad ko. Maski naman ngayon eh, hindi ko pa rin alam ang feeling nor am I sure kung kelan ko masasabing in love ako with a guy. Ooows daw, impossible daw yun. Ewan ko pero I have an obsessive compulsive behavior which sometimes mutates my personality to becoming a perfectionist at certain aspects. Eto na nga yon. Siguro, gusto ko lang eh na when I find love, it’s with the right person and time. I’m an abnormally sensitive person. Lalo na when I like someone. (Is being selosa healthy?) When I get hurt or if I know that someone’s lying to me or taking me for granted, my dark side reigns over me and I become the complete opposite of my sweet character. I don’t know if this is something to be proud of but when I’m really hurt, madali kong nakakalimutan yung tao. Not his deed, I mean the person mismo. It’s like I erase him agad in my life. When I’m hurt, I get artistic, my mind works relentlessly and dun ko mas na-eexpress yung views ko. (Now that’s really, saying something.) Like right now. Kung saan saan na nakarating yung topic ko.

Posted by TheWickedBride at 07:08 PM | Kiss me?

June 19th, 2006

Woes and etcetera.

TheWickedBride

Hay.

Nakakamiss. Ang saya sa Diliman. Katurai. wheeee. ansaya saya ko. Thanks din kay ate, hay, ang sisterly bonding chorva. Be back sa July 7. Wui ang dalawang bessy ko. Si Kaths at si Tommy, hope to see you guys, soon ha.

Kaths, ano, yung camping ek-ek natin sa July 7, sunduin niyo ko sa Friday. heheh. jan ako matutulog.

Kainis naman kasi lumipat pa ang nursing sa Manila. Sana sa Diliman na lang kami. well, parang i'm waiting in vain na mag-summer.

WAAAAAAHHH. Ang ganda talaga ng campus ng Diliman. Darn manila.

Posted by TheWickedBride at 05:03 PM | Kiss me?

June 22nd, 2006

Bakit ba ganon?

TheWickedBride

I'm feeling jaded. hindi ko alam kong bakit. Buti pa tong mga kiddos at my left, puro na lang laro ng ragnarok. letsugas. Samantalang ako eh, may uuwian pang module ng math11 na babasahin.

Nakakainis pati, sa Sabado eh wala nanaman akong extra time para matulog. Natotoxic na nga ba ako? Ewan? Ano ba mga strata nun. ewan ko if kung anong level na to.

Sabi ni ate Marian, di daw kami advisable na magcross reg sa Diliman sa summer. Eh, pano yun..gustong gusto ko talaga...(Kung pwede nga lang ngayon eh dun na ko mag-aral eh..haaaaaayyyyy. Nakakainis.

Monique, CROSS REG tayo ha? Pleasey please please ha? Sama tayong dalawa, okay? wubshu!!! promise ha? kahit anong mangyari?

Posted by TheWickedBride at 06:34 PM | Kiss me?

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Ang Mangkukulam

Entries for June, 2006

June 5th, 2006

Tumatanda na pala ako. Letsugas.

June 8th, 2006

i am so depressed.

June 9th, 2006

Pre-birthday randomness.

June 19th, 2006

Woes and etcetera.

June 22nd, 2006

Bakit ba ganon?